Dating an adoptee

19-Jan-2018 11:47

Adult adoptees may still have questions of identity—who they really are or how to merge two identities (birth and adoptive family and culture).

If raised in a trans-racial or multicultural family or with LGBTQ parents, there may be additional questions of belonging or acceptance by others in the extended family or community.

Regardless of the legality, in my book it is incest pure and simple, and it is wrong because it is harmful to the adoptee. How can an adopted person feel anything but “less than” a full member of the family when they know that their cousin and likely other relatives consider them to be outside the family and thus “safe” for dating and sex?

Bottom line: if it’s illegal with a blood relative it should be illegal with an adoptive relative.

Incest, as with all forms of abuse, is hard to detect.

This is especially the case when it involves teens and adults because the perpetrator or both participants are trying to hide their involvement.

This does not mean they aren’t living fulfilled lives.

Rather there is a part of them that is missing that they want to know more about.

I was not able to find reliable statistics on whether incest is more common in adoptive families.According to Keith Fadelici, licensed clinical social worker and the assistant director of Victims Assistance Services.“There are no definite signs and anything on the list as an indicator is always potentially explainable in another way,” he explained.“But some of the noteworthy signs are that a child will either avoid or be very attached to that parent, that the child may act more sexual, and that a child may have either extreme fearlessness or fearfulness.”Often, he said, young victims will respond to incest with self-injurious behavior such as drug abuse, cutting themselves or acquiring an eating disorder.However, a quick google search of Yahoo Answers found the following questions: There are some very sick people in this world!

According Alan Davis, head of the National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence, “Incest is more likely to occur in a family where at least one parent is a stepparent, and it shows up far more often in homes where both parents are not the natural parents.Many adoptees in that group had some variation on that story.

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